A few of the more pressing topics that have been on my mind this week include:
- Why do my jeans smell like barnyard dust even though I washed them two days ago?
- Have my knickers been on inside-out all day? (Turns out yes, yes they have.)
- Oh hey, is that the guy I dated briefly last year who was in the open relationship and his girlfriend had a girlfriend? (Turns out no, because that guy over there is weirdly sweaty and has a strange mole on the side of his face, but I didn’t realise that until AFTER I smiled and waved, so maybe quick exit.)
- Why do we call pink lipsticks pink instead of nude, because I’m pretty sure my lips ARE actually pink when they’re nude, AMIRITE?
|Above: Clinique All Heart, Kate Moss 05, Tom Ford Incorrigible, NARS Schiap|
I still have no answer for the last one. As it turns out, in the absence of a colour wheel or some hot, hot SCIENCE, we call them pink and not nude BECAUSE WE JUST DO. Also, it turns out that I don’t much care. Really though, pink probably should have been my first stop on my lipstick tour: it was the first colour I played with as a little girl from my grandmother’s make-up bag, and it’s much easier to find a pretty, flattering shade without risking looking like a zombie. Belatedly, then, here are a few I like.
Clinique All Heart Long Last Lipstick, £17 at Debenhams Studio 10 Age Reverse Perfecting Lipliner, £22 at http://www.studio10beauty.com
I’ve had a soft spot for Clinique gift with purchase lipsticks ever since I won one in a game of bingo at a nursing home when I was ten (the other prizes were socks or bath salts). My prize lipstick felt fancy then, and it still does a tiny bit today. All Heart is a slightly plummy pink warmed up with barely-there gold sparkle that makes it perfect for adding a bit of oomph to a neutral make-up look. I’m wearing it with Studio 10 in the picture, but it applies just as well from the tube in a hurry, and indeed, on the Tube in a hurry. The texture feels creamy and nourishing, and it lasts through at least three cups of tea before lunch. HOUSE!
Kate Moss for Rimmel 05, £5.49 at Superdrug
Anyone who refuses to shop for cosmetics and perfume on the high street out of misplaced snobbery is denying themselves a serious small pleasure. Cheap makeup is the business, and it’s hard to beat the thrill of chucking a bright lipstick in the basket with your shampoo and hand cream. This is a girly (but not sugary) pink that I can imagine your Girl Next Door would wear on prom night. It looks great with flushed cheeks and a hint of mascara. Also: IT SMELLS OF CHERRIES. What could be more joyful?
Tom Ford Incorrigible, £34 at Selfridges Halfway between a full on lipstick and a gloss, so somewhat naughty of Tom Ford to demand the full whack of £34. On the other hand, this sheer fuchsia veil with just a dusting of warm golden sparkle is perfect bridge between the “My Lips But Better” milkmaid pinks and the full-on BRING IT bright end of the spectrum. Unlike a fuller-coverage bright lipstick, this is easy to apply without a lipliner and a brush, and as a result it’s barely left my handbag since I bought it.
NARS Schiap, £19.50 at Space NK I had a consultation with Sali Hughes last month and she sold me on it as the perfect “fuck you” lipstick. “It suits no one,” she assured me. The name of this full-coverage, satin finish lipstick references the legendary fashion designer Elsa Schiaparelli, who used shocking pink as one of her signature colours. It does not suit me. It will not suit you. But you should buy it (and a good lipbrush – colour like this demands precision application) anyway. I wore it last week with a flowing black skirt and Jovoy’s Psychédélique, a fragrance so patchouli-heavy that my friend Angelica once described it as “like being trapped in a phonebox with a hippie.” None of these things suit me, and I spent most of the day feeling as though I was having an out-of-body experience. Unless you are one of those rare souls who knows exactly who they are, I believe we all have something to gain by trying on (as it were) different identities, discarding the parts that don’t feel right and incorporating the ones that do into our own personal patchwork. I will never feel comfortable with wearing neon pink lipstick every day, but on days when I have a bone to pick with the world, I will wear it with Bvlgari Black and sneer. I will take no prisoners. The fine print: Purchases and PR samples.
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