A Conversation with my Brain.

(Setting: internal monologue, North London, present day)

Oi, Lippie!  Write something!

Noooooo!  What if it’s shit?

No one will even notice, I betcha.

That doesn’t help!

But you like writing! And you bought approximately 543,457,436,874 identical blood-red lipsticks during lockdown, including three you already owned (and deliberately so, you numpty), so it’s not like you’re short of material to write about.

Yeah, but … it’s scary out there.

Out where?  You haven’t left the house in, like, three years anyway.

Outside my brain.

Seriously?  Have you ever had a good look around the place? There’s that box of miscellaneous childhood trauma that’s just been sat in the corner wearing broken NHS glasses since 1983, and if you don’t do something with that file of “embarrassing things said in public” that you like to entertain yourself with at 4am on Tuesday mornings, I’m going on strike.

Okay …  Wait, what?

You know that six months in 2018 you can’t remember ? That was me, that was.  Industrial action, in err … action the flesh.

But, that stopped me being an accountant, that did!

I know, I’m so proud.  Nervous breakdown/career break, whatever, it’s all pretty much the same in the end, innit?

Okay, it worked out eventually, I suppose. 

Got you a dream job in publishing, didn’t it? All the Post Its you’ve ever wanted.  And the pens, Lippie, THE PENS!!! You loved them pens. I know you did, because you’ve still got them all.

Well, yes, but …

Okay, so the pandemic cut that short, but you did it, didn’t you?

I did.  But now …

… but now what?

I’m still all confused.  I’m terrified of writing anything – anything at all –  but at the same time, I’ve decided to do a Master’s Degree in WRITING.

Not just writing though, is it?

Well no, it’s (allegedly) comedy writing. But a Master’s degree? I’m too thick!  I  …

Seriously, just SHUT UP AND WRITE, YOU DICKHEAD.

FINE.

*****

If you made it this far (and if you did, I’m truly sorry), this was my long-winded way of letting people know I’m writing again. It’s been a tough couple of years, and I’ve been busy.  I’ve already done some work for The Perfume Society this year, and I’m going to be resurrecting Get Lippie whilst I work on some other projects alongside developing my comedy portfolio as part of my degree.

Don’t know how often, or what I’ll be writing about, and I’m not going to make any promises I’ll struggle to keep, but I’ll be popping in now and again with my thoughts on stuff. I promise, however, no more internal dialogue.  I’ll be starting later this week with a bit about the perfumes I’ve been wearing during the pandemic.

Laters, taters!